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Drunk guy: Why am i so hot..do I look like a princess to you? I feel like one..look at me twirling
Sober chick: Oh my gawdd Joey, could you please stop getting drunk at your family reunions. It is really starting to get annoying

New Jersey boardwalk

#418
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Glad you were listening (2) - Mind your own business (0)

Apr 7, 2010 06:48 PM - Street - by myveryownjerseyshore

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Enthusiastic lady: Oh, you must be having a boy!
Very preggers: Uh, no... It's actually a girl.
Enthusiastic lady: Really? Because your face has changed!
Very preggers: What do you mean?
Enthusiastic lady: Oh, you know, it just looks bad. I was ugly, too, when I was pregnant with my son.

Clinic waiting room
San Francisco, California

#394
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Glad you were listening (3) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 23, 2010 02:52 PM - Miscellaneous - by baby mama

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Stressed undergrad: Yeah, I have to write a 25 page paper on my experiences with racial ideology.
Stupid girl: Oh my god, I would just write a list of every time I talked to a black person... But I would never be able to get 25 pages.

VCU
Richmond, VA

#393
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Glad you were listening (1) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 23, 2010 02:49 PM - School - by Ashley

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Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night -- I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you're high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don't like birds.
Guy #3: I'd be a pterodactyl, dude.

Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York

#392
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Glad you were listening (2) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 23, 2010 02:48 PM - School - by Retards

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Hobo: Girl, I know you're a freak! All redheads are freaks!
Brunette hipster pumping gas: Step off. What I do is none of your business.
Hobo: Lady, I'm just talking shit 'cause I'm drunk.
Brunette hipster: Me, too.

Kansas City, Missouri

#391
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Glad you were listening (1) - Mind your own business (1)

Mar 23, 2010 02:45 PM - Street - by Rob

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Young guy #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Young guy #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her -- same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I'm not looking for praise.

#390
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Glad you were listening (2) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 23, 2010 02:44 PM - Restaurant - by Rose

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Yuppie girl on cell: "And then he grabbed my ass right in front of her! If I was her, I would have thrown a fit... But she knows she'll never be at my level."

Georgetown
Washington, DC

#389
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Glad you were listening (1) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 23, 2010 02:42 PM - Street - by Level Up

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Four-year-old boy: So, girls have 'ginas, and boys have penises?
Mom: Um, yes, hon.
Four-year-old boy: You have a 'gina?
Mom: Yes, honey. Shhh.
Four-year-old boy: Girls at school have 'ginas? Teachers have 'ginas?
Mom: Yes, honey. Now shush.
Four-year-old boy, contemplating: I always wanted to see one of those.

Phoenix, Arizona

#386
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Glad you were listening (5) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 21, 2010 06:22 PM - Restaurant - by Brittany

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Three-year-old girl: Can I open this?
Dad: No. There are two hundred and fifty matches in there, and they're going to fall all over the place.
Three-year-old girl: But I promise I won't eat them.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

#385
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Glad you were listening (4) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 21, 2010 06:20 PM - Home - by Mom

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Little girl: Mom, those boots make you look like a hooker!
Mother: This conversation is over.
Little girl: Okay... What's a hooker?

Macy's, Marley Station Mall
Marley, Maryland

#384
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Glad you were listening (4) - Mind your own business (0)

Mar 21, 2010 06:18 PM - Mall - by JD

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